A new year . . . a new plan.

Butterflies in my tummy

Nervous chatter in the line

Taking off every excess piece of clothing I could think of

Sound familiar? 

Yes, this was me last night at my first weigh in after Christmas. I was absolutely convinced the scales were going to have a big + sign on it. I gingerly stepped on the scales, held my breath and relief . . . 

I had stayed the same. 

I was so good over the Christmas period, I even pointed my Christmas dinner. I was hoping for a loss, but after an unfortunate car accident last week . . . one dislocated collar bone later and not to mention a lot of swelling, I was praying to not have a huge gain. To say I was relieved with a STS is an understatement. 

My beautiful sling!

I sat as proud as punch throughout the meeting, and eagerly awaited the news about the new programme that has been circulating facebook for weeks now. As our leader explained the plan, I began to weigh up if I'd like to do a plan with no pointing or not. 

The concept of the new Simple Start is well . . . simple! It brings eating back to basics . . . eating filling, healthy meals until you are full and limiting the rubbish. It's good old "mammy meals" that leave you feeling comfortably full, and reduce your want to tuck into the biscuit time. It's balanced, well rounded meals that tick all the boxes in terms of proteins, carbs, dairy etc. There is also room for 2 treats a day from the selected list which will be my saving grace (I love my treats!). From what I understand, in week two, you can choose to either start pointing again, or you can do Simple Start meals but use 49 weeklies for extra treats outside of the the listed Simple Start foods. So i'm willing to go "cold turkey" and give the Simple Start my all this week, and then add in my 49 weeklies next week. If it's not for me, then I can always change back to my pointing . . .  but it's worth a go. 

I am a keen pointer. I love knowing I have a certain amount of points for treats. But I also have a lot of self discipline and know when I'm full, I'm full and I need to stop eating. I did the "Core" plan when I first joined ww in 2008 and I loved it. I am hoping that once I get my head around this plan, it will be a welcome change from the Pro Points! The only worry I had about the programme is how I could make it work around my gluten & wheat intolerance. My gluten free pasta and bread isn't included on the list of SS food, so I decided I needed to write out a food plan to properly plan my meals. 

Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance! I got very excited last night and planned out my weeks meals . . from the moment I get up until I go to bed! I was excited to see what meals I could plan out, and reisited the urge to point my meals. I'm going to share my weekly plan with you all, excuse the length of it! I have included EVERYTHING that I might eat over the day. The snacks are of course optional. It might help some of you who are unsure what to make for dinner this week, or you might be able to help me out if I've gone wrong somewhere! 

Here's to a great week, a new challenge and hopefully and kick start on the scales next week!

Simple Start Week One Plan:

Day One:

********

Breakfast:

Hot water and lemon

*******

Gluten Free Porridge with Cinnamon & Banana

********

0% Fat Greek Yogurt

Chopped Fruit

Optional Snack:

Stewed Fruit eg Stewed Apple, Pear and Raspberry

Lunch:

Butternut Squash and Sweet Potato Soup

Optional Snack:

Sugar Free Jelly

Fruit

Dinner:

Chicken Curry with Chickpeas and Sweet Potato & whole grain rice

Optional Snacks:

Sugar Free Jelly

Air popped popcorn

Fruit

*****

Choc x 2 squares & Meringue Nest x 1

Drinks:

Water (with our without lemon & lime), Tea, Diet Coke.

Day Two:

*******

Breakfast:

Hot water and lemon

*******

Gluten Free Porridge with Cinnamon & Banana

********

0% Fat Greek Yogurt

Chopped Fruit

Lunch:

Bacon, Poached Egg, Baked Beans, Mushrooms & Gf Bread

Optional Snack:

Carrots and home made humus

Dinner:

Stew (Stewing Steak, Potatoes, Butternut Squash, Carrots, Onion)

Wholegrain Rice.

Optional Snacks:

Sugar Free Jelly and low fat custard

Air popped popcorn

Fruit

*****

Choc x 2 squares

Drinks:

Water (with our without lemon & lime), Tea, Diet Coke.

Day 3:

*******

Breakfast:

Hot water and lemon

********

Gluten Free Porridge with Stewed Apple & Cinnamon

********

0% Fat Greek Yogurt

Chopped Fruit

Lunch:

Vegetable Soup with Chickpeas

Optional Snack:

0% Greek yogurt with chopped fruit

Sugar Free Jelly

Dinner:

Shepherds Pie

(Extra Lean Mince, Potatoes, Carrots, Onion)

Optional Snacks:

Sugar Free Jelly

Air popped popcorn

Fruit

*****

Choc x 2 squares

Meringue Nest x 1

Drinks:

Water (with our without lemon & lime), Tea, Diet Coke.

Day Four

*******

Breakfast:

Hot water and lemon

********

Gluten Free Porridge with Stewed Fruit

********

0% Fat Greek Yogurt

Chopped Fruit

Lunch:

Tuna and Sweetcorn with wholegrain Rice

Optional Snacks

Sugar Free Jelly

Fruit Salad

Dinner:

Pork Chops

Roast Vegetables 

Roast Potatoes

Sweet Corn

Optional Snack:

Sugar free Jelly & Custard

Stewed Fruit

Choc x 2 squares

Drinks:

Water (with our without lemon&lime), Tea, Diet Coke.

Day Five:

*******

Breakfast:

Banana Pancakes

0% Greek Yogurt

Red Berry Comport

Lunch

Potato and Sweet corn Soup

Optional Snacks

Sugar Free Jelly

Fruit Salad

Dinner

Chili

Extra Lean Mince

Chick Peas

Kidney Beans

Tin of Tomato

Coriander, Cumin and Chili

Whole Grain Rice

Optional Snacks

Eton Mess-Meringue x 1

0% fat Greek Yogurt

Red Berries

Fruit Salad

Choc x 2 squares

Drinks:

Water (with our without lemon  &lime), Tea, Diet Coke.

*********

Repeat for day 6 & 7

ENJOY

Goodbye 2013....Hello 2014!

I am so ashamed to say it has been over a month since I last blogged! Like everyone else I was swept up in the excitement leading up to Christmas and my blog slipped to the back of my mind! I decided I had to blog tonight to ensure I got a blog post in before New Years was upon us!

My Christmas was lovely, we stayed in Cork this year and spent Christmas day in my in-laws house. I loved decorating our home and getting all our handmade gifts wrapped. I had decided that I wasn't going to take any days off plan. I was determined to enjoy my Christmas but not to over do it. I know from past experience I can use Christmas as an excuse to go mad and eat all around me. 

This year I knew if I set myself limits I could still enjoy myself but no go too wild! I didn't buy any tins of sweets, biscuits or selection boxes...my poor husband loved me!! I treated all the days leading up to Christmas as normal, and on Christmas day I made sure I took control of certain things to allow me to stay on track. I offered to cook all the veggies...I did brussel sprouts with bacon, carrot & parsnip mash, roasted veg and "roast potatoes". I made sure all the veg were zero points or as low as possible so I filled my plate up with lots of them, then my turkey and ham and my gluten free stuffing. It was such a yummy dinner and I had no guilt afterwards! 

All my sisters in laws made desserts for after dinner and I opted to make a raspberry and dark chocolate baked cheese cake. It worked out as just 6pp per slice and was very tasty! It also meant I could sit and have a cuppa with my family and not feel excluded.

Stephen's Day was back to normal for me and I must admit I felt great for not letting food dictate how I felt about myself over Christmas. I of course had treats, like a few sneaky slices of my mother in laws coffee cake...which i pointed! I am really hoping that when I return to weigh in I will be down, but even if I'm not I know I stayed true to my plan. 

I am looking forward to welcoming in the New Year, and focusing on reaching my goal. I'm not sure what the New Year will bring but I am feeling optimistic. I am proud of what i have achieved and hope that 2014 will bring a new set of challenges and successes! Here's to a slim 2014!

It's a process...

In the past, when I have been trying to loose weight, I have always looked for the quick fix. I have always wanted to get the weight off as fast as possible, in whatever way that worked the fastest. I didn't care if it wasn't healthy, or sustainable, I just wanted something to got rid of the problem. I tried liquid diets, I tried weight loss pills and I tried excessive exercise. All of these things worked...for all of around two days. I would either become fatigued, I would become irrational or I would just plain old give up because I was hungry! Sound familiar?

Even when I rejoined weight watchers in May, I began to get frustrated as I wasn't loosing the weight fast enough. I wasn't content with a loss of 1lb a week as I felt it was a slow slog rather than a life changing weight loss. 

I have noticed recently there are "quick fix" weight loss diet plans EVERYWHERE. 

The Internet, the TV and Facebook. 

"Drink these shakes and you'll be guaranteed to loose 2 stone in 8 weeks." 

"Order these pills and you'll see a weight loss 3 x more effective than diet alone." 

I was even watching the biggest looser this week and found myself doubting my own weight loss as the contestants on it were annoyed because they "only" lost 12lbs this week. No wonder we are tough on ourselves when we are surrounded by outside, unhealthy influences. It took me almost 4 years to put on my weight...I am not going to healthily loose it in a matter of weeks. 

It can really throw our focus off when we compare ourselves to other people, other weight loss plans or how we performed in the past. For example, I have found (until recent weeks) my weight loss has been twice as slow as it was when I first did weight watchers when I was 19. I beat myself up big time for the first few weeks of re-joining instead of embracing the fact I had taken the biggest step in re-joining, and that I should be proud of myself. 

I have come to the realisation that I am my own person, that my body shape is unique to me and there is no point in me wishing I was like someone else. My weight loss journey is also unique to me and I will only drive myself mad if I am constantly comparing how many lbs I loose a week to the person next to me in the ww line. We can rob ourselves of mini victories by wishing we had major victories. We all know that little by little, a little becomes a lot. But if we are so focused on how everyone else is doing and are constantly forgetting to congratulate ourselves, we fail to see how well we are doing. 

I feel that I am in the most healthy mind frame I have been since re-joining ww. I am focused on a long term, healthy lifestyle goal, rather than a quick fix. I am seeing the mini goals I am reaching, and I'm proud of that. It's not always easy, and I know that life can throw stumbling blocks every now and again. With my back injury, I am learning that it's how we handle the stumbling blocks that is important. I could have used my back as an excuse, and let my focus slip, but instead I have tried to keep my eye on my end goal...which is to lead a healthy, happy life. 

With Christmas approaching, I am so excited to spend time with my family. I know that this Christmas I won't be hiding behind the camera instead of having my photo taken. I can feel my confidence is rising, and although I am not at "goal" I am feeling happy in my own skin. I have a pretty dress to wear on Christmas day and I have a stunning 1950's style dress on hold for our ww Christmas dinner. 

One big thing I am aware of is that I am not avoiding social situations. Last year, the idea of a Christmas party would have been the last thing I wanted to do. The idea having to be around a lot of people would have been a nightmare. I was so self conscious and felt so uncomfortable in my own skin. This year, I'm not even paying a second thought that side of a social gathering. I'm just looking forward to spending time with those I love and not making excuses.

So, as you can gather, I am trying to drive in the importance of focusing on YOU. 

But on the positives, rather than the negatives. 

Be proud of you...be confident in YOUR skin....do no put YOURSELF down... 

Whether you are on day one of your journey, or day 1000...you are doing it. 

You have something to be proud of, don't let anything rob you of that.

When life gives you lemons...

So as some as you many know, after my last post I went for an MRI on my spine as the pain I was experiencing was getting worse rather than better. My scan showed I have "stress" on my L4 & L5 joints and inflammation around my facet joints in that area. All in all, I've made a bit of a dogs dinner of my back! It turns out that because of my bad knees I have been standing and walking badly for years, and as a result I've been putting extra pressure on my lower back...thus leading to this mess I'm in! I've started a long term physio journey and will just have to get on with things for now. I'm learning that I just need to be patient!

As a result of me being unable to go for my much loved walks I have had to be much more careful about my food. I've also found I am having to make a real effort in making "yummy" food as my appetite isn't wonderful from the pain relief I'm on. I'm experimenting with food more and enjoying testing out new recipes. I am slowly learning that although exercise one of the elements that help on a weight loss journey, it is not the primary focus. I'm also learning that proper preparation really does prevent poor performance. By making sure I have lots of ww friendly treats in the press & fresh food in the fridge I'm much more likely to try and stay on track. 

In the last four weeks I have lost between 1-2 lbs a week which is the most consistent weight loss I have had since re-joining in May. I'm really starting to notice the difference in the way I look and now that I'm only 2lbs away from being down 5stone I am feeling fairly proud of myself. So even though life is handing me lemons at the moment, I am determined to make some pretty nice lemonade out of it. :)

I went to Killarney last weekend with my hubby, my great friend Sarah (who is also my weight watchers buddy) and her bf. As we headed off I was a little worried about how I would stay on track being away from home and having to eat out for every meal. It was the first time I was going away since re-joining and I was worried I would use it as an excuse to go off the rails a little. I was also worried that I wouldn't be able to have food that suited my Gluten Free diet. 

We were staying in an amazing old manor house and had booked in for B&B. From the scrummy gf french toast I had for breakfast each morning to the sea salt and peanut butter ice cream I had as a treat, everything I ate was tracked. I let my hair down...I had treats..I had pizza and I had sangria...but I made sure I accounted for everything and I didn't feel one bit guilty as a result. I was really amazed at how versatile the ww programme is, and being away proved that to me. Once you're prepared to write it down, you can keep an eye on things & ensure you don't go too mad. I came home feeling proud that I didn't go overboard and I even had 10 weeklies left. 

Life is for living, and weight watchers really is tailored to fit around life. I am starting to believe this is a long term, lifestyle change and the only thing standing in the way of my success is me! No more excuses, no more pity parties...I'm doing this! Who's with me?!

Eyes on the prize.

I've had a bit of set back in the last few weeks. I have no idea how, but I have a possible bulging disc in my lower back. I don't know if I was doing gymnastics in my sleep, but I just woke up one morning and noticed a dull pain in my lower back. This pain has slowly but surely worsened over the last three weeks. After four doctors visits and very high pain relief, I’ve been referred for an MRI later this week followed by Physio. Yipee! I'll be honest, I have really struggled since this has happened. I've gone from walking my 3km block every second night to being stuck on the sofa able to do nothing...zilch...zero. I have done more activity than I probably should, resulting in my hubby giving out to me and ordering me back to the sofa to rest. I've been fidgety, frustrated, fed up and just wanting to get back on my feet. 

Normally when I am sick or injured, I turn to food. I normally want comfort food, chocolate, anything to make me feel better. I refused to return to my old ways and comfort myself with food. Instead, I planned. I shopped healthy, I made soups and dinners in advance and I made sure I had lots of low pp snacks in the house. The result? 2.5lbs lost in the last two weigh ins. I'm still recovering, and still very frustrated I can't get out for my walks with the dog, but I know that will come with time. Hopefully this MRI will get to the route of the problem and I will be back on my feet again properly in no time!

Being in a compromised position has made me realise I really am in charge of what the outcome is. No one else has any control over what I eat, I'm the only one responsible. I choose what I put in my mouth, and I am responsible for the outcome. I could have thrown in the towel, resigned to the fact I couldn't exercise and allowed it to be an excuse to eat what I want when I wanted. I could have chosen the tub of Ben & jerries instead of the skinny cow ice pop, but I am determined to keep moving forward, even if it is at a slower pace than I had hoped for. Why? Because I know how far I have come and I’m not prepared to let a little blip in my road ruin all my hard work. I have my eyes on the prize and I'm determined to get there, no matter how long it takes. 

I think so often we can get caught up in moving forward and forget to look back at how far we have already come. Have you stopped & looked back at how far you've come? As of tonight I have lost 62lbs. I have so far gone from a size 22 to a size 16. I am healthier, happier and fitter than I was a year ago. Yes, I still have a bit left to go, but I have made some progress to date. I was talking to my sister in-law the other day, and she didn't believe me that I used to worry if I would fit in an airplane seat when we went away on holiday. She couldn't picture me as a size 22, despite the fact that I was wearing jeans that size for a number of months. Although admitting to her I once was that size made me very embarrassed, it also made me proud. Proud that I took the step to better my life and proud that I am every day committing to try my best, despite what blips life throws at me. I am passionate about becoming healthier, bettering myself and also encouraging others along their journeys. 

I know I will get to where I want to be and I know that this time I will maintain it. 

Why? 

Because I am worth more than settling for a life where I am fed up of my weight. 

I am worth more than putting my health at risk. 

And I want to LIVE my life, not just survive it. 

Learning to be nicer to me!

The last two weeks have been a bit of roller coaster. The weeks leading up to my husbands oncology appointment always are. They are filled with worry, anxiety and normally comfort eating. And when I say comfort eating, I really mean comfort eating. I normally would aimlessly pick my way through the cupboards, the fridge and the freezer with out even realising I was doing it. I would loose total run of myself and not care about the results. Exercise wouldn't play a roll in relieving stress, it wouldn't even factor into the equation. 

I had an unexplained gain of 3lbs last week, which I was absolutely gutted about. So this teamed with my inbuilt want to comfort eat could have ended in complete disaster this week. I could have said "sod it" and just used my hubbies appointment as an excuse to eat whatever I wanted.

As hubbies appointment approached, I actively made a choice that I was going to handle my stress in a different way this time. Instead of binging on anything I could get my hands on, I planned my meals. I adapted my normal go to comfort foods so they were ww friendly. I still had my tummy warming, soul comforting dinners but with a healthier twist. I'll add my recipe for "Cauliflower, cheese and chips" to my recipe tab (over there to the right!) which has always been my go-to dinner when things are a bit rubbish. I adapted it, and still enjoyed every soothing mouthful but without the guilt. I made sure my "bar box" was filled with ww friendly treats, all only 2 or 3 pp each so if I needed a bit of chocolate or something sweet, I could have a few snacks and not live to regret it.

On Sunday morning my hubby and I headed for a big walk around the cliffs in Churchbay/Fountainstown. The path was completely overgrown so it was a bit of a struggle, but beating the plants out of the way was a great stress buster! We walked for around 2 hours and afterwards I felt much more relaxed. 

After a long few days, and a very few tense hours on Monday morning, we were delighted to hear my hubby is 1.5 years in complete remission. The oncologist was delighted to see how well hubby is doing and thrilled to hear he is able to do things like hike up Torc Mountain! As you can imagine, a huge weight was lifted. We could both breathe again and not have a horrible stress hanging over us. We walked around town like we were floating on cloud 9. I can't even explain the relief! 

After such a stressful week, my husband and I made a positive pact. We decided that for the next two weeks, I was only allowed to speak positively about myself, my weight loss and my image. I am my own worst enemy for putting myself down, and despite loosing 3.5lbs at weigh in on Tuesday, I was beating myself up as I thought it would be more. I agreed that I was only going to lift myself up instead of tearing myself down. I think we really can be our own worst critics.

To go with my new attitude, I went and got my hair chopped. I had been trying to grow it, but the ends were dead and lifeless so I figured a fresh new start was needed. After my hair appointment, I figured I would try on a few dresses my ww buddy Sarah had kindly given me. The last time I tried them on they fitted but not comfortably. Today, I felt like a million dollars. I really am starting to see my shape again and it's a welcome sight! 

So, as this week continues, I am going to make an extra effort to be nicer to me. After everything me and my love have been through, I think it's time I stop stressing and just enjoy the now. The weight loss will come in time, my fitness will continue to improve and if I just stop beating myself up, I might actually realise I am doing pretty darn great!

Climbing my Everest

Beep, beep, beep. I rolled over and looked at my phone, 6.30am...what was I thinking? I can't remember the last time I had to get up at that time. I was tempted to hit snooze but I remembered why I set the alarm so early. Andrew & I were off to Killarney to hike all 1682 ft of Torc Mountain. Eeek! I had that knot in the pit of your stomach feeling, this was the first mountain I had ever attempted to climb and to be honest, I was terrified. A million self doubts rushed around in my head..could I do it? Would I make a fool of myself? Would it be worth it if I failed? I reminded myself that the last time I attempted to do any proper hiking I was over 4 stone heavier. The new, fitter, healthier me can do anything she puts her mind to. I pushed self doubt aside, told myself I would give it my all and climbed out of bed.

Saturday was glorious weather, and yesterday, Sunday was due to be the same. Perfect hiking weather apparently, crisp, dry and spectacular views at the end. We both staggered around in the dark, grabbed our hiking gear and got our food supply out of the fridge. I had packed sausages for Andrew for breakfast and bacon medallions and gluten free toast for me, both of which we were planning on cooking beside the lake on our camping stove. I had also packed sandwiches and some goodies for after our hike, all of which I pre-tracked so I knew I could eat whatever I had packed. 6.45am and we hopped into the car and headed towards Killarney. It was starting to brighten up a little, but there were a few drops of rain which we hoped would clear before we started hiking.

We arrived into Killarney at 8am and we were met with a heavy layer of fog and very heavy rain. So heavy, we couldn't even see the mountain we were going to climb! We had planned on setting off at 9am for Torc, but decided to have our breakfast beside one of the lakes & go for a small hike in a forest first to see if the weather lifted. Andrew set a time limit of 11am, and if he felt the weather was dangerous, we wouldn't be going anywhere! We parked up the car, set up a little kitchen in the back seat of the car and tucked into our breakfast! After we had our fill we headed to Muckross for a walk through the forest to see what the weather was doing. 

11am came, and the weather was still pretty rotten. We decided to drive to the car park beside Torc to see if we would give it a go. We arrived at the car park and the scale of the mountain really hit home. It was huge and given the weather, I could only see halfway up! Self doubt started creeping back in, but I decided I was worth more than that. I told my hubby that I wasn't put off by the weather and I wanted to give it a go. Why you may ask? I needed to at least try. I had geared myself up mentally, prepared myself and I wanted to prove to myself I could do this.

We started our climb, which began with a one mile hike to the base of the mountain. As we stood at the base of the mountain I reminded myself of how far I had come already and told myself again that I could do this. I have to say, my husband was amazing. He encouraged me every step of the way, slowed down without saying anything when he could see I was struggling and gave me little pep talks when I was doubting myself. The mountain is a mixture of railway sleepers and rocks and it varies in how step the gradient is. It was absolutely pouring, and at times we couldn't see more than a few feet ahead of us. Rain was pouring off my face & I had my own personal swimming pool in my hiking boots! At a few stages I have to be honest, I wanted to turn back. But I knew I would beat myself up if I did. Andrew was brilliant & kept telling me we were almost there. I was aching, sweating and struggling, but loving it. Andrew told me to literally take it one step at a time. I started counting my steps in groups of 4 and found this helped me have a regular pace. Andrew kept telling me..just one step at a time...it doesn't matter how slowly we go as long as we are moving forward.

We turned a corner, and Andrew uttered the magic words...you see that? That's the top! All of a sudden I got a massive rush of adrenaline and we marched to the top! It was blowing a gale, there was no view at all as it was raining so heavily, and we were both drowned...but it didn't matter! WE DID IT!! I won't lie, I shed a few tears...mostly because we realised I left our victory chocolate bar in the car!! We took at few photos at the top and had to head back down quickly as the weather really started closing in. I swear to you, I floated down the mountain! I was so unbelievably proud of myself!

An hour later, we were back at the car. We were soaked to the bone, freezing but very, very happy. We had our munchies in the car, turned on the heating full welly and got into some dry clothes! In total over the course of the day, we hiked 6.5 miles, burnt over 1,200 calories, were on the go for almost 4 hours and climbed 1682 ft. But most importantly, I proved to myself I can do anything I put my mind to. I have made a commitment to better my life by becoming healthier, and by doing so, I am able to enjoy wonderful experiences like this one with my best friend and my love. What could be better?

Have a great week everyone! I am still floating!