Tuesday, July 1, 2014

So what if I jiggle.

This week I attempted to go clothes shopping with my bestie and I felt completely overwhelmed. When I was a size 22/24 I hated shopping because nothing fitted, but in a way it was easier as I didn't have to "like" the clothes, I didn't have to make choices..I just grabbed what fitted & left. I walked around the shops and felt lost. I felt like I was looking at a sea of clothes and I didn't have a clue what way to dress my new body shape. I picked up a few basics, but came home feeling defeated.

Why was it so hard to just pick up some nice new clothes? I sat down afterwards, and I had a good think. I have lost 96 lbs and have dropped 6 - 7 dress sizes. I am a completely different shape, and as a result, I am having to retrain myself and not just pick up what will hide my weight. I realised that instead of embracing the new me, I was still focusing on my wobbly bits. I was thinking I needed to buy clothes to hide parts of me rather than showing off my new shape. I was forgetting that I was a beautiful person before I lost weight and that hasn't changed since loosing weight.



I decided to do what I always advise others to do. I looked through old photos and reminded myself of how far I have come. Yes I still have a jiggle when I walk, I still get "rubby thigh syndrome" when it's hot, I have stretch marks and I have cellulite on my ass but you know what? Non of that matters as I AM HEALTHY. I no longer have achy joints, high blood pressure, a higher risk of diabetes, heart disease and other obesity related illnesses. I can climb mountains, I can walk without getting out of breath, I can run around after my nieces and nephews and I feel my age, not twice my age.

                           
So I woke up with a better attitude the next day and was ready to face a second attempt of shopping. Two years ago I never expected to fit into a size 12 - 14 again. I never thought I'd feel confident or healthy again. I never thought I would wear a bikini or wear shorts again. I decided to try on clothes that tested my comfort zones a little to see what I felt comfortable in. I realised that it doesn't matter what ANYONE else thinks of what I'm wearing, as long as I love it. I ceased the moment, embraced my new body and got over the areas I'm not 100% happy with. As a result, I came away with lots of lovely new clothes and a big smile on my face.


I'm slowly learning that it will take a while for me to accept my new body, battle scars and all. I braved a bikini for the first time in years recently, I have a pair of short shorts, and I am wearing colours again! It is a learning curve and one that doesn't end when you reach goal. The main thing is to celebrate where you are at now, encourage and build up others also on the journey and embrace life, instead of waiting until tomorrow to live it! 

I have included a link to a video my hubby and I recently took together on a trip away. I wanted to share it as I felt SO happy and alive. No more hiding behind the camera, I am ready to make memories and live my life! Who's with me?!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdwE0OpK0PM