Eyes on the prize.

I've had a bit of set back in the last few weeks. I have no idea how, but I have a possible bulging disc in my lower back. I don't know if I was doing gymnastics in my sleep, but I just woke up one morning and noticed a dull pain in my lower back. This pain has slowly but surely worsened over the last three weeks. After four doctors visits and very high pain relief, I’ve been referred for an MRI later this week followed by Physio. Yipee! I'll be honest, I have really struggled since this has happened. I've gone from walking my 3km block every second night to being stuck on the sofa able to do nothing...zilch...zero. I have done more activity than I probably should, resulting in my hubby giving out to me and ordering me back to the sofa to rest. I've been fidgety, frustrated, fed up and just wanting to get back on my feet. 

Normally when I am sick or injured, I turn to food. I normally want comfort food, chocolate, anything to make me feel better. I refused to return to my old ways and comfort myself with food. Instead, I planned. I shopped healthy, I made soups and dinners in advance and I made sure I had lots of low pp snacks in the house. The result? 2.5lbs lost in the last two weigh ins. I'm still recovering, and still very frustrated I can't get out for my walks with the dog, but I know that will come with time. Hopefully this MRI will get to the route of the problem and I will be back on my feet again properly in no time!

Being in a compromised position has made me realise I really am in charge of what the outcome is. No one else has any control over what I eat, I'm the only one responsible. I choose what I put in my mouth, and I am responsible for the outcome. I could have thrown in the towel, resigned to the fact I couldn't exercise and allowed it to be an excuse to eat what I want when I wanted. I could have chosen the tub of Ben & jerries instead of the skinny cow ice pop, but I am determined to keep moving forward, even if it is at a slower pace than I had hoped for. Why? Because I know how far I have come and I’m not prepared to let a little blip in my road ruin all my hard work. I have my eyes on the prize and I'm determined to get there, no matter how long it takes. 

I think so often we can get caught up in moving forward and forget to look back at how far we have already come. Have you stopped & looked back at how far you've come? As of tonight I have lost 62lbs. I have so far gone from a size 22 to a size 16. I am healthier, happier and fitter than I was a year ago. Yes, I still have a bit left to go, but I have made some progress to date. I was talking to my sister in-law the other day, and she didn't believe me that I used to worry if I would fit in an airplane seat when we went away on holiday. She couldn't picture me as a size 22, despite the fact that I was wearing jeans that size for a number of months. Although admitting to her I once was that size made me very embarrassed, it also made me proud. Proud that I took the step to better my life and proud that I am every day committing to try my best, despite what blips life throws at me. I am passionate about becoming healthier, bettering myself and also encouraging others along their journeys. 

I know I will get to where I want to be and I know that this time I will maintain it. 

Why? 

Because I am worth more than settling for a life where I am fed up of my weight. 

I am worth more than putting my health at risk. 

And I want to LIVE my life, not just survive it.