It's a process...

In the past, when I have been trying to loose weight, I have always looked for the quick fix. I have always wanted to get the weight off as fast as possible, in whatever way that worked the fastest. I didn't care if it wasn't healthy, or sustainable, I just wanted something to got rid of the problem. I tried liquid diets, I tried weight loss pills and I tried excessive exercise. All of these things worked...for all of around two days. I would either become fatigued, I would become irrational or I would just plain old give up because I was hungry! Sound familiar?

Even when I rejoined weight watchers in May, I began to get frustrated as I wasn't loosing the weight fast enough. I wasn't content with a loss of 1lb a week as I felt it was a slow slog rather than a life changing weight loss. 

I have noticed recently there are "quick fix" weight loss diet plans EVERYWHERE. 

The Internet, the TV and Facebook. 

"Drink these shakes and you'll be guaranteed to loose 2 stone in 8 weeks." 

"Order these pills and you'll see a weight loss 3 x more effective than diet alone." 

I was even watching the biggest looser this week and found myself doubting my own weight loss as the contestants on it were annoyed because they "only" lost 12lbs this week. No wonder we are tough on ourselves when we are surrounded by outside, unhealthy influences. It took me almost 4 years to put on my weight...I am not going to healthily loose it in a matter of weeks. 

It can really throw our focus off when we compare ourselves to other people, other weight loss plans or how we performed in the past. For example, I have found (until recent weeks) my weight loss has been twice as slow as it was when I first did weight watchers when I was 19. I beat myself up big time for the first few weeks of re-joining instead of embracing the fact I had taken the biggest step in re-joining, and that I should be proud of myself. 

I have come to the realisation that I am my own person, that my body shape is unique to me and there is no point in me wishing I was like someone else. My weight loss journey is also unique to me and I will only drive myself mad if I am constantly comparing how many lbs I loose a week to the person next to me in the ww line. We can rob ourselves of mini victories by wishing we had major victories. We all know that little by little, a little becomes a lot. But if we are so focused on how everyone else is doing and are constantly forgetting to congratulate ourselves, we fail to see how well we are doing. 

I feel that I am in the most healthy mind frame I have been since re-joining ww. I am focused on a long term, healthy lifestyle goal, rather than a quick fix. I am seeing the mini goals I am reaching, and I'm proud of that. It's not always easy, and I know that life can throw stumbling blocks every now and again. With my back injury, I am learning that it's how we handle the stumbling blocks that is important. I could have used my back as an excuse, and let my focus slip, but instead I have tried to keep my eye on my end goal...which is to lead a healthy, happy life. 

With Christmas approaching, I am so excited to spend time with my family. I know that this Christmas I won't be hiding behind the camera instead of having my photo taken. I can feel my confidence is rising, and although I am not at "goal" I am feeling happy in my own skin. I have a pretty dress to wear on Christmas day and I have a stunning 1950's style dress on hold for our ww Christmas dinner. 

One big thing I am aware of is that I am not avoiding social situations. Last year, the idea of a Christmas party would have been the last thing I wanted to do. The idea having to be around a lot of people would have been a nightmare. I was so self conscious and felt so uncomfortable in my own skin. This year, I'm not even paying a second thought that side of a social gathering. I'm just looking forward to spending time with those I love and not making excuses.

So, as you can gather, I am trying to drive in the importance of focusing on YOU. 

But on the positives, rather than the negatives. 

Be proud of you...be confident in YOUR skin....do no put YOURSELF down... 

Whether you are on day one of your journey, or day 1000...you are doing it. 

You have something to be proud of, don't let anything rob you of that.

When life gives you lemons...

So as some as you many know, after my last post I went for an MRI on my spine as the pain I was experiencing was getting worse rather than better. My scan showed I have "stress" on my L4 & L5 joints and inflammation around my facet joints in that area. All in all, I've made a bit of a dogs dinner of my back! It turns out that because of my bad knees I have been standing and walking badly for years, and as a result I've been putting extra pressure on my lower back...thus leading to this mess I'm in! I've started a long term physio journey and will just have to get on with things for now. I'm learning that I just need to be patient!

As a result of me being unable to go for my much loved walks I have had to be much more careful about my food. I've also found I am having to make a real effort in making "yummy" food as my appetite isn't wonderful from the pain relief I'm on. I'm experimenting with food more and enjoying testing out new recipes. I am slowly learning that although exercise one of the elements that help on a weight loss journey, it is not the primary focus. I'm also learning that proper preparation really does prevent poor performance. By making sure I have lots of ww friendly treats in the press & fresh food in the fridge I'm much more likely to try and stay on track. 

In the last four weeks I have lost between 1-2 lbs a week which is the most consistent weight loss I have had since re-joining in May. I'm really starting to notice the difference in the way I look and now that I'm only 2lbs away from being down 5stone I am feeling fairly proud of myself. So even though life is handing me lemons at the moment, I am determined to make some pretty nice lemonade out of it. :)

I went to Killarney last weekend with my hubby, my great friend Sarah (who is also my weight watchers buddy) and her bf. As we headed off I was a little worried about how I would stay on track being away from home and having to eat out for every meal. It was the first time I was going away since re-joining and I was worried I would use it as an excuse to go off the rails a little. I was also worried that I wouldn't be able to have food that suited my Gluten Free diet. 

We were staying in an amazing old manor house and had booked in for B&B. From the scrummy gf french toast I had for breakfast each morning to the sea salt and peanut butter ice cream I had as a treat, everything I ate was tracked. I let my hair down...I had treats..I had pizza and I had sangria...but I made sure I accounted for everything and I didn't feel one bit guilty as a result. I was really amazed at how versatile the ww programme is, and being away proved that to me. Once you're prepared to write it down, you can keep an eye on things & ensure you don't go too mad. I came home feeling proud that I didn't go overboard and I even had 10 weeklies left. 

Life is for living, and weight watchers really is tailored to fit around life. I am starting to believe this is a long term, lifestyle change and the only thing standing in the way of my success is me! No more excuses, no more pity parties...I'm doing this! Who's with me?!