The last two weeks have been a bit of roller coaster. The weeks leading up to my husbands oncology appointment always are. They are filled with worry, anxiety and normally comfort eating. And when I say comfort eating, I really mean comfort eating. I normally would aimlessly pick my way through the cupboards, the fridge and the freezer with out even realising I was doing it. I would loose total run of myself and not care about the results. Exercise wouldn't play a roll in relieving stress, it wouldn't even factor into the equation.
I had an unexplained gain of 3lbs last week, which I was absolutely gutted about. So this teamed with my inbuilt want to comfort eat could have ended in complete disaster this week. I could have said "sod it" and just used my hubbies appointment as an excuse to eat whatever I wanted.
As hubbies appointment approached, I actively made a choice that I was going to handle my stress in a different way this time. Instead of binging on anything I could get my hands on, I planned my meals. I adapted my normal go to comfort foods so they were ww friendly. I still had my tummy warming, soul comforting dinners but with a healthier twist. I'll add my recipe for "Cauliflower, cheese and chips" to my recipe tab (over there to the right!) which has always been my go-to dinner when things are a bit rubbish. I adapted it, and still enjoyed every soothing mouthful but without the guilt. I made sure my "bar box" was filled with ww friendly treats, all only 2 or 3 pp each so if I needed a bit of chocolate or something sweet, I could have a few snacks and not live to regret it.
On Sunday morning my hubby and I headed for a big walk around the cliffs in Churchbay/Fountainstown. The path was completely overgrown so it was a bit of a struggle, but beating the plants out of the way was a great stress buster! We walked for around 2 hours and afterwards I felt much more relaxed.
After a long few days, and a very few tense hours on Monday morning, we were delighted to hear my hubby is 1.5 years in complete remission. The oncologist was delighted to see how well hubby is doing and thrilled to hear he is able to do things like hike up Torc Mountain! As you can imagine, a huge weight was lifted. We could both breathe again and not have a horrible stress hanging over us. We walked around town like we were floating on cloud 9. I can't even explain the relief!
After such a stressful week, my husband and I made a positive pact. We decided that for the next two weeks, I was only allowed to speak positively about myself, my weight loss and my image. I am my own worst enemy for putting myself down, and despite loosing 3.5lbs at weigh in on Tuesday, I was beating myself up as I thought it would be more. I agreed that I was only going to lift myself up instead of tearing myself down. I think we really can be our own worst critics.
To go with my new attitude, I went and got my hair chopped. I had been trying to grow it, but the ends were dead and lifeless so I figured a fresh new start was needed. After my hair appointment, I figured I would try on a few dresses my ww buddy Sarah had kindly given me. The last time I tried them on they fitted but not comfortably. Today, I felt like a million dollars. I really am starting to see my shape again and it's a welcome sight!
So, as this week continues, I am going to make an extra effort to be nicer to me. After everything me and my love have been through, I think it's time I stop stressing and just enjoy the now. The weight loss will come in time, my fitness will continue to improve and if I just stop beating myself up, I might actually realise I am doing pretty darn great!
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