trains, birthdays and staying focused.

This week I headed up to my parents house for my birthday weekend. I decided to get the train up home and as I have said in the past, long journeys and me do not mix. I get bored and as a result I think I'm hungry...and I pick, pick, pick! I headed to Dundalk on Thursday morning at 9am. Normally I'd have rolled out of bed, grabbed my bag & headed for the train. This would have meant a breakfast on the train, probably consisting of chocolate and crisps. Not this time! I got up early, I made my breakfast and packed a lunch for myself too. I pointed everything in my lunch box and knew I could snack away and not do any damage! I love feeling prepared, and as a result knowing I am not setting myself up for failure.

I was determined to keep my focus while I was away. It was my birthday on Sunday and I could have used it as an excuse to go off the rails. Instead I offered to cook dinner for my family two out of the three nights I was away to ensure I was making wise choices. My mum and dad welcomed the break and I felt I was able to stay in charge of what I was eating. I also brought my walking gear up with me so I made sure I got in two good walks while I was up there.

I made one big mistake while I was away, and that was to have some brownie birthday cake. I didn't cop on until after I had eaten two fork fulls that it wasn't gluten free, and as a result I paid for it BIG time. I was very ill the next day and have been bloated and retaining fluid since. It made me realise that although I'm not officially a celiac, gluten & wheat do not agree with me at all. I had been feeling great following a gluten & wheat free diet and one little slip up has brought me back to feeling rough. It was a wake up call for me, and I do not want to go back to feeling so ill. So, from now on, I will be double checking anything I haven't made myself!

As a result, I was dreading weigh in last night. I knew it wasn't going to be a loss, but I was very disappointed when I stayed the same. My TOM is due, so that didn't help matters either. But it is still disheartening when your hard work doesn't pay off. I had made a commitment to eat more of my weekly points, which I did. I walked twice in Dundalk (around 3.5miles) and did a 3 mile walk when I came home along with a 4.5mile beach cycle. So as you can imagine I was a little frustrated. It can be very difficult when, despite you're very best efforts, the scales don't show any change. 

I do however know I have lost 4 stone and that's a massive achievement, and I have to focus on how far I have come. I also know I am toning up from my exercise which is brilliant. I measured myself a little over a month ago, and again this week and I've lost 4 inches off my chest, and a few more off other places. My waist is now measuring 31inches which is a nice number considering what it used to be! I know my fitness is improving massively too. I know next week the scales should show a good loss, and I have to use the frustration I feel this week to drive me forward rather than letting it hold me back. And most importantly, I know I am doing everything in my power to ensure I am being healthy.

When I was able to go for a beach cycle with Andrew, it was the best feeling ever. The last cycle we went on, I had a panic attack as I couldn't catch my breath. I lasted all of about 5 minutes and we had to turn around. I was so embarrassed and so annoyed I couldn't do the cycle with him. This time, not only did I manage to cycle, I did so on sand! We went to Red Barn and although the weather was misty and cold, I absolutely loved it. I loved feeling alive, I loved the feeling of being outdoors, and mostly I loved being able to keep up with my husband and have fun doing something together.

What better reward for my hard work to date, then to enjoy quality time with my love.

A year ago neither of us would have been able to do that cycle, for very different reasons.

Why waste one single moment.

I'm determined to be healthy & live my life to the fullest, not let it pass me by.