Adventures

I am sincerely sorry for not posting in so long. Let me explain why! Life has been a bit of an adventure for me of late. Sometimes life is an adrenaline pumping, hair raising, butterflies in your tummy sort of adventure. Other times it's a scary, unpredictable, cover your eyes kind of adventure. Whichever type of adventure, it's certainly not boring! Life over the last few weeks has been a little bit of both for me.

 

I am a qualified Art, Craft and Design teacher but due to my husbands illness I haven't been in a position to work for a number of years. The idea of stepping back into a classroom setting worried me hugely, especially when I was carrying so much extra weight. The thought of stepping into a classroom weighing just shy of 19 stone terrified me. The idea of standing in front of a classroom of pupils...all eyes on me...made me want to run away and hide! For a while I even tried to convince myself "I don't really even want to teach"...I was allowing my weight influence my passions...rob me of my dreams and cause me to settle for less because I didn't believe I was worth more. I would dread an interview, I'd feel physically ill at the thought of having to try and find something that would fit & look some what professional. Over the last few months I have started to hunger for something new...a new adventure. Something to get my heart racing and awaken my passion again.

 

A few weeks ago something crossed my path that both terrified me and excited me. A volunteer role in a local learning centre for pupils who have left school early due to a number of reasons. The aim of the centre is to provide a formal education for pupils who have not been successful in a mainstream setting. I swallowed my concerns and sent in my application. I reminded myself I am a new person now, I have lost over 6 stone and I have every reason to feel confident.

 

For the first time in years, I felt comfortable in my own skin going for the interview and knew immediately it was some where I wanted to volunteer. I am now a month into teaching Art to 5th and 6th years and I am absolutely loving it. I feel confident, driven and like I have a focus again. I didn't realise until I started teaching again how much I had missed it. I love not feeling like I need to cross my arms over my tummy to try and hide my tummy and I am aware that I can now hold eye contact where as in the past I have kept my eyes lowered, trying to hide. I can happily engage in conversations with fellow volunteers and not fear that they are waiting until I leave to pass comment on my size. I fit in, I am normal and I love it.

I think sometimes we don't realise how much we are allowing our weight to hold us back until we choose to say no more, enough...I am worth more. Until we choose to move past the fear and step into the unknown. It can be scary but if we continue to live in the shadow of our former selves, we will never shine. I have worked hard to get to where I am now and it's my chance to shine...because I AM worth it (excuse the corny line but it's true! We are all worth it!)

I am challenging myself to try something new, to take a chance and have faith in myself that I can do it. I think it's something we all can do...taking up a new exercise class that we wouldn't have had the confidence to do a few months ago...sign up for a night class to learn something new...anything that is slightly outside of our comfort zones, but just within reach.

 

Life is too short to hide away...I'm ready for adventures! I can honestly say, that without Weight Watchers I fear I would still be hiding away and not even realising I was doing it. I feel happier, healthier and ready for whatever life throws at me. When my husband asks at the last minute if I want to go hiking, I don't try to make an excuse because I think I'll pass out after a few minutes...I seize the opportunity and get my boots! I feel like I'm living my life now, not just existing and I honestly have WW to thank for that.

Who's with me to step out of their shadow & shine??!