Learning.

I absolutely love my Weight Watchers class, it's a gang of 15 or so lovely ladies (and sometimes the odd gent) who are all really open and honest about how their week has gone. We are all there for the same reason, and each week I come away feeling really supported. We have a wonderful coach who is very enthusiastic and it's rather contagious. This evening I was optimistic going along to the class and I didn't, for once, have that dreaded knot in my stomach approaching the scales. 

I had a good week, I was well behaved, I tracked everything I ate and really enjoyed the food I cooked during the week. I nearly fell off the scales when Sue, our coach, said I was down 5.5lbs! I was absolutely thrilled! I have a few weeks of ups & downs so as you can imagine I was delighted. I achieved my 10% weight loss goal tonight and got my 3rd silver 7! That brings my total weight loss to date 51.5lbs. I still can't quite get my head around that figure, but I am feeling wonderful...and light! ;)

We were discussing in class that if we lost a half a pound in a week would we be happy. The general consensus was that depending on the effort we had put in during that week, a half a pound could either be a good result or a bad result. Although a loss is a loss, it's crazy to think that some weeks we can walk away from the scales disheartened and this lead me to think that we, as women particularly, are very tough on ourselves. Hands up I am the first to admit that I have been very hard myself. For every positive comment I receive, I remember the one negative one and end up focusing on it. I know that when I look in the mirror, rather than praising myself for the positive changes I see, I can zoom in on the things that still need a little work. I am always wanting to change my hair colour, have better skin, nicer nails...the list is endless at times. Why do we do this to ourselves? I think we often hold ourselves back by believing the negative the things we say to ourselves so often rather than actually seeing the beautiful women we are both inside and out.

One thing I am trying to do is be nicer to me. If I am always putting myself down, how am ever going to be content. One thing I am learning from my current weight loss journey is that the biggest change has to start internally. The weight loss will come, be it half a pound at a time. But if I haven't changed my mindset, nothing positive will come of all my hard work other than a smaller bottom. 

Even at my slimmest, I was still poking my tiny muffin top and wishing it away rather than giving myself a pat on the back for all my hard work. I was telling my mother in-law today that I feel I am approaching Weight Watchers differently this time. I want to learn to be healthy and I want to be kinder to myself. I want to make a long term lifestyle change that will benefit me in the long run. And I am determined to stop to appreciate the small goals I am achieving along the way and to appreciate me for being me. 

We also discussed setting goals in class tonight and one small goal I have set myself is to fit back into my wedding dress before my 27th Birthday in September. I am planning on doing something a little bit bizarre when I do fit back into it though. I would absolutely love to do a "trash your dress" photo shoot. I'm never planning on wearing a wedding dress again and I think if I'm going to put my old one back on, why not do something creative. 

Not only would this be a huge achievement for me to fit back into the dress, but I would be over coming some confidence issues by having a professional photo shoot done. I love the idea of throwing paint at my darling husband and making a huge mess! Our introduction to married life has been less than clean, so why not make some more messy memories together! So I have a little under two months to slip back into the dress..and when I do...I will stop, take a moment and give myself a well deserved pat on the back. 

It's all about stopping to enjoy the small things along this journey.